Most state laws allow the court to consider a child’s preference on which parent’s home will be the child’s primary residence after the child reaches a certain age—often 12-14 years of age.

But the court usually does not have to follow the child’s preference. Generally, the older the child is, the more deference will be given to the child’s choice on which parent’s home will be the child’s primary residence.

The law on this issue is usually found in your state’s statutes—often in the statutes grouped together and called the family code.

In Tennessee, the court may consider the preference of a child regarding which parent they wish to live with primarily during custody proceedings. According to Tennessee Code Annotated § 36-6-106, the court is required to consider all relevant factors, including the reasonable preference of the child if the child is 12 years of age or older. The court may also listen to a child under 12 if the judge deems the child to be mature enough to express a preference. However, the child's preference is just one of many factors the court will evaluate, and it is not determinative. The child's best interests remain the paramount concern, and the court will weigh the child's preference against other factors such as the parents' ability to provide for the child's needs, the stability of each parent's home, and the child's relationship with each parent. As the child gets older, their preference may be given more weight, but the ultimate decision rests with the court's assessment of what will best serve the child's welfare and development.