How Child Custody Mediation Works and Tips for Success
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Having kids in the mix can make a difficult situation even more stressful during a divorce.
Legal battles over child custody can be emotionally and financially draining for everyone involved. Thankfully, there are alternatives to going to court for couples who can't seem to agree on how to handle family conflict.
Parental parties who cannot agree on child custody may benefit from child custody mediation to avoid the time, money, and stress that would be involved in going to court.
Mediation for Child Custody Disputes
Divorce mediation is increasingly commonplace. Rather than going through the stress and financial burden of a custody battle in court, separating or unmarried parents can use mediation to work out an agreement on legal and physical custody of their children.
During a mediation session, both parties meet with a neutral third party (the mediator) in a relaxed setting (the mediator's office) or virtually. The mediator acts as a tour guide, leading the couple through the minefield of their differences.
The mediator's role differs from that of a judge or arbitrator; the mediator will not decide the issues. Instead, they use their expertise to work toward an acceptable solution for both parties. Most of the time, a mediated divorce results in the creation of a legally binding settlement agreement.
An Overview of Child Custody
One parent gets the kids, and the other doesn't; end of the story, right? Wrong. Child custody is more nuanced than that. The courts aim for joint custody because studies have shown that children do better with both parents.
Legal and physical custody are the pillars upon which child custody is built. Whoever has legal custody of a child has the right to make significant decisions on his or her behalf, including those about the child's education, religion, and non-emergency medical care. Legal custody is typically split between both parents unless one is deemed unfit.
Where a child spends the majority of his or her time is what is meant by "physical custody." The primary factor in determining physical custody is the location of each parent, intending to find a solution that works best for the child.
Helpful Tips for Child Custody Mediation
After two years, with help, most children of divorced parents have successfully transitioned to their new family structure. However, studies also show that kids whose parents are still very much at odds tend to struggle more in the years following the split.
Mediation programs after a divorce can help family relationships.
The following are six guidelines for successful child custody mediation.
1. Put Your Feelings on the Shelf
Divorce brings up a whole range of negative feelings. There will always be times when you have to deal with negative emotions, even under the best of circumstances. However, mediation is not the place to air your marital grievances.
You and your soon-to-be ex-spouse should put the past behind you and work together for the sake of your children.
Your kids shouldn't have to deal with the stress of your split. There's no room for resentment when parents focus on doing what's best for the kids. The mediator isn't looking to hear about your "dirty laundry." They must keep neutrality, so smearing your opponent will get you nowhere. It may cause them to stop liking you.
Keeping your emotions in check is essential if you want to come out on top in a custody negotiation. Getting emotional in a discussion will prevent any resolution from being reached.
The mediator must believe that you will control his emotions and do what is best for your child's relationship with their other parent. Demonstrate that you are capable of growing up and forgetting your mistakes.
2. Be Receptive to Your Offspring
Divorce agreements should include the children's input. Thinking only of yourself is tempting, but you must put your child's wants and needs first.
All parties involved benefit when kids spend time with both mom and dad. But when kids are caught in a war, they lose out on many of those advantages.
Keep the people who matter in mind during the mediation process and beyond.
3. Be Wary of Striking Out on Your Own
Please reconsider your stance against shared parenting. If you act in such a spiteful manner, you could end up regretting your choice.
Being a single parent is challenging. Sometimes it's complicated. There will be fatigue. Take some time off; you deserve it. And you'd be surprised how often you'd long for a day off.
You might want to pursue sole custody during mediation. However, once reality sets in, and you may find yourself wishing you had compromised.
4. Not All Good Parents Make Good Spouses
Your ex-spouse may have been a terrible partner. Your wrong spouse may, however, surprise you by becoming an excellent parent.
Don't judge your ex-spouse based on how you felt about them as a spouse.
5. The Importance of Quality Over Quantity
Divorce experts have long argued that the quality of time spent with children is more important than the quantity spent with them.
New evidence suggests that if the time away from your children is spent supporting them, it can contribute to their overall success.
Research shows that a non-custodial parent's efforts to aid their child and the custodial parent can be more beneficial than the non-spending parent's more time with the child.
The same is true for parents who try to spend time with their kids, even if they don't see them every day or week. Even if you feel like you got the short end of the stick, there is more than one way to be a good parent.
6. Afford yourself the freedom to explore alternative lifestyles.
It's in everyone's best interest if divorced parents and their kids can accept and even embrace the reality they now share.
Despite animosity toward the other parent, putting that aside and focusing on what's best for your child will help you immensely.
Conclusion
In conclusion, child custody mediation offers a valuable alternative to the exhausting legal battles typically associated with divorce, allowing parents to focus on what truly matters—their children's well-being. By choosing mediation, parents can minimize the emotional and financial stresses of court proceedings and work towards solutions that best serve their family’s needs. The tips underscore the importance of maintaining emotional control, prioritizing the children's input, and embracing cooperative parenting approaches.
As you navigate the complexities of mediation, remember that you don’t have to do it alone. Contact LegalFix to discover how our online legal resources can support your success in mediation.
FAQs
What is child custody mediation?
Child custody mediation is a voluntary process where parents work with a neutral mediator to create an agreeable parenting plan without going to court, focusing on the best interests of their children.
How long does child custody mediation typically take?
The duration of child custody mediation varies, typically ranging from a few hours to several sessions spread over a few weeks, depending on the complexity of custody issues and the cooperation level between parents.
What are some effective strategies for success in child custody mediation?
Successful strategies include coming prepared with a flexible mindset, prioritizing the child’s needs, and being willing to communicate openly and respectfully with the other parent.
Can the agreements made during child custody mediation be changed in the future?
Yes, agreements made during mediation can be modified in the future if both parties agree or if significant changes in circumstances occur, necessitating an updated arrangement.
What happens if we cannot reach an agreement through mediation?
If parents cannot reach an agreement through mediation, the case may proceed to court, where a judge will make custody decisions based on the child's best interests.